My life is in transition.
There are two experiences I'm having in the transition and some stuff I want to share about both. So before I begin, let me give you the synopsis.
For months, I'd been praying and contemplating the idea of resigning my position at Northview to focus solely on my duties as a wife and mommy.
Some of you may not know that I work at Northview, but I do. I love it and I'm completely passionate about working in the local church. My favorite part of my job as Communications Director has been to help create experiences for our people to engage in relationships with each other and to experience God in new ways. I get an inside look at our leadership and get to contribute to their passion, by offering insight on how to share the heart of their ministries with our attendees.
I've been able to sit in on lead staff meetings and represent my voice as a woman, mother and creative thinker. It's been humbling and so cool.
I'm a such a passionate girl. And during my training for my half marathon (which I'll blog about later), I had a lot of time alone with my thoughts. One thought that I kept having was wondering what God could do if I were able to focus all my passion on my family. And I got really excited.
For the past two years, Northview has been gracious to let me do the job that I love on a very flexible, limited schedule. But, because I love it so much, I always felt frustrated by my limitations. There wasn't enough margin in my life to dream big for Northview in the way that I knew I could.
In the same way, I haven't had the margin to dream big for my family in the way I've wanted to, either.
Now that Andy is settled into his new venture as a self-employed web experience designer and developer (And doing AMAZING, I might add), our family has settled into a new normal, as well. One with many new exciting opportunities and challenges.
Andy has never been more fulfilled professionally. I remember thinking when we dated (and when my dad would bug me about considering my financial future), that this guy is so talented and I won't ever have to worry that he will provide for me and our future family together. I was right. It's almost too good to be true to watch how this whole thing has unfolded.
So, he's super happy. And super fulfilled. But, now running his own company and having the weight of all family provisions based entirely on his ability to seek out and secure projects, he's also super stressed. And in the 10 years that I've known him, I've never seen him stressed.
I've always been the one to have my hands in hundreds of pots. He's always been my easy-going, super-mellow, go-pursue-your-dreams-and-I'll-do-whatever-you-need-me-to-do-to-support-you kinda guy. And he still is, but his new reality has challenged his margin in new ways, too. His "supportive margin".
So, it's my turn to be the cheerleader. It's a new role for me. But, one I'm pretty excited (and also scared) about. I'm afraid and thrilled that God has a lot to teach me. I'm afraid and thrilled to have my margin back. I'm afraid and thrilled to stay home and use my passion to open the door to God to reshape and grow my family.
I think afraid and thrilled pretty much sums it up.