Jesus in Mom Jeans

I want to be like Jesus.

But, sometimes as a mom, I don't act like Jesus. And sometimes not so much because I'm mad, but because I have a hard time determining what type of parental choice Jesus would make, in the heat of the trials and drama of three small girls. And I get frustrated about it.

I want to know Jesus so well. And truly "get" Him so much, that even when my emotions and blood pressure feel like they are about to go through the ceiling, I can confidently answer the question WWJD? And then actually do it.

Jesus, what practical parental choice would you make when your 18mo old is screaming in the high chair covered in applesauce, while one 3 year old just fell on the floor in a pool of tears because you got her a little spoon instead of a big spoon, and another 3 year old is in the bathroom yelling for you to come and wipe her booty?

And please don't misinterpret my tone. I truly believe He has the answer.

My post is about my issue.

I'm staying home full-time now. And in my quiet time with God, I feel like He's asking me to be still. To accept His love for me and define myself simply as His beloved (rereading Abba's Child)(one of my all time faves!) I'm learning so much.

And then my kids wake up. And it's practical application time. I start my day (and my ministry) and pray that all this good stuff that's happening in my heart is ever-present in my day, as I lead my kids.

I think that's the true test of growth. Grace in the hard times. That in the toughest of trials, I could hold up a mirror and still see His reflection. I'm not sure that happens all the time here.

As I read the Bible and read about the life that Jesus' modeled. I'm so inspired. And challenged.

I feel confident that he's asking me to abide in this new season. And I'm learning to carve out times of solitude with Him.

And I think it's so that I can really hear Him in the stillness, when my life is so LOUD. And that as I hear him more, His voice becomes so familiar, so easy to decipher, that when the NOISE is at it's loudest, I can still hear it.

Because, I know He knows how LOUD it can get over here. And that it's not always the kids.

Farewell, Sweet Jeremy

Our great friends, Aaron and Beth Shelby, welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the world yesterday at 11:17 a.m. He was breathing on his own at birth, which makes him 1 in 10,000. They said that only 1 in 10,000 babies diagnosed with Trisomy 13 have a live birth.

But, a short 71 minutes later, he took his final breath and went to be with Jesus.

Last night, our Life Group gathered with Beth and Aaron in their hospital room. The mood was relaxed. Beth and Aaron were emotionally exhausted and so we just sat with them. Beth shared her labor story with all the girls. Just like any new mom would. Aaron shared the experience from his perspective.

They were even willing to let us see and hold Baby Jeremy. He was bundled in a blue blanket, with a hand-knit blue cap on his head. He looks a lot like Beth.

This is all a new experience for me. I've never been this close to a family facing such a tragic loss. Something that leaves me with so many questions for God. But, as I've said before, it really feels like a priviledge to journey with the Shelbys.

We've known the Shelbys for 3 years now and shared in life with them through our amazing Life Group. This couple truly amazes me. Yes, they are sorrowful. They have a million questions. But, their faith in God has been completely unwavering.

I'm also thankful today for my Life Group. I've learned about myself in the past few years, that I am completely a relational person. I love nothing more than to share my life, to know and be known, by my close family and friends. My friends are such a gift to me and today, I'm especially thankful for them.

One group member posted about our gathering last night and I couldn't agree with her more. I love doing life with these people. We're a group with such diverse backgrounds and I learn from them every time we're together.

So, even though I'm crying a lot of tears today, I can't help but feel grateful.

To God, for his faithfulness, that even though none of this makes sense, He will make it beautiful.

To Friends, for good people to share in the good, bad and ugly.

For the Shelbys, and their example. I know that we all can follow their lead in this and learn a few things about faith, love and hope, in the process.


I'm sure many of you reading know the Shelbys and so if you feel compelled, a memorial fund has been set up in Jeremy's honor to help cover his funeral costs.

1. Memorial Fund

* ALL Donations will go directly to the Shelby Family to cover funeral expenses. If the financial blessing outweighs the cost, the remaider of the proceeds will be forwarded to the trisomy 13 charity of the parents choice.

* Donations are being accepted at all FORUM CREDIT UNION branches. Just go into the branch and give them jeremy's name and tell them it is for a memorial fund....After the funeral services...all money will be released to the Shelby's so please make your contributions prior to that date. All donations will be anonymous. Here is a link of all their locations... You must copy and paste this link: http://www.forumcu.com/locations/default.aspx

2. Fashionthropic T-Shirt in memory of Jeremiah has been designed and about Half of the total cost goes directly to the shelby's to help them cover expenses...This is a GREAT way to help out and have an item to remember him by.....check out the link: http://skreened.com/fashionthropic

Prayers for a Beautiful Friend

My beautiful friend, Beth, is amazing. (Pictured center here, with the other amazing women in my Life Group.)

Today we celebrated her and her journey towards motherhood. It wasn't your typical baby shower, because Beth's pregnancy has not been typical. You see, Beth's baby was diagnosed early in the pregnancy with Trisomy 13. It's a chromosomal abnormality that the doctor's say is "incompatible with life."

It's been nothing short of horrific and petrifying for their family. Beth and her husband Aaron are in our Life Group. And I have to say it's been amazing to share this journey with them.

Even though they are facing a very uncertain outcome, their faith has been unwavering. Beth has been blogging. I can't tell you how much her insight into scripture and her personal thoughts during the pregnancy have blessed and challenged me.

Can you imagine such a prognosis for your son? I certainly cannot.

So, I write this post to celebrate my beautiful friend. But, also to heed your prayers. Beth is 37 weeks today. Her belly continues to grow and baby Jeremy is very active.

We believe we serve a miracle-working God and ask that you pray for a miracle in this situation. Pray specifically for the growth of his heart. Pray for strength for Beth and Aaron.

They are an amazing couple and I have no doubt that God will be honored and praised regardless of how this story unfolds, but they have a difficult road ahead.

The photos below are from the nursery at Beth's house. They will paint the walls this week, but before they do that, they invited friends and family to come over and write prayers and scripture on the wall.

It was really cool to read what people had written. (Click on the photos to view them larger.)

I'm a good neighbor!

I'm so lovin' my job right now. For those who don't know, I'm the Comm Director at my church. Which means I get my geek on when it comes to helping the church communicate its message effectively, break down stereotypes and speak the truth compellingly.

We just finished a series, using the book Living a Life on Loan. We finished the series by mobilizing our entire church to serve in the community: 2400 people, 29 organizations at 51 locations, to be exact. It was awesome!

Our goal is to take the momentum from this experience and begin to shift our DNA as a church. To see service become a lifestyle and not something that you check off your i-gotta-do-this-so-i-don't-feel-guilty-anymore list. To ask yourself daily: How have you loved today?

I just can't tell you how exciting it is to be a part of the inner-workings of pulling this thing off right now. I like my job, but to be a part of energizing 3000 people towards a life of service is beyond cool, in my book.

We're working on tools that will help build community and encourage story-sharing. Relational tools make me giddy!

I'm simply humbled and amazed that God uses me in this way.

I'm excited about how it will influence our community. I'm excited about how it will influence me.

Aren't you excited, too?

Something's gotta give

My baby girl is home sick today. We were on our way to dinner downtown last night with family and she threw up in her car seat.

The picture reflects what she's doing most today, but we're keeping a close watch on her fluid intake and any signs of fever. It breaks my heart.

But, my motivation to post this morning is less about my sick baby and more about thoughts that an unexpected change in my schedule have provoked.

Over the past few weeks, I've been struggling to figure out a few things. Mostly, my schedule.

I'm a firm believer in being a mom first. I have a part-time job, but I am happy to say that my work is done while my girls are either at school (two mornings a week) or asleep in their beds. It's a pretty sweet deal. It's work I'm passionate about and doing the work fuels my passion.

But, I also lead my adult couples Life Group, co-lead a high school girls Life Group and currently work out three times a week with a personal trainer... and over the last week, I hit a wall. And come face-to-face with the reality that something's gotta give.

I'm not sure yet what it's going to be and ultimately, it may be nothing.

See, I'm working on this new process in my life. I listened to a really great podcast the other day from Mosaic Church out in LA. I can't even tell you exactly what the speaker was talking about, but it was a single point that he made that really stood out to me. He said he was talking to a busy mom, and she was telling him how she was seeking "balance" in her life.

He challenged her by asking where in the Bible she heard that God calls us to "balance." He said, it's nowhere in the Word. Jesus wasn't balanced. Paul certainly wasn't balanced. God doesn't call us to find balance.

He calls us to find rythmn. Although at the moment I can't remember where in scripture he found this, but it's made a lot of sense to me, nonetheless.

I'm a convicted girl. And one of my convictions is that I shouldn't push my convictions onto others. But, let me say plainly here that I am convicted to never use my kids as the reason why God can't use me in this season of my life. I don't think that my kids excuse me from making myself available to God.

YES! I am a mom first. Which means, the majority of my week is focused on my girls: nurturing, disciplining, feeding, dealing with poop. And they will always be my priority.

I want my kids to see me serving. Using my gifts and passions and getting fuel from it.

But, somewhere in the last week, I must have missed a beat. Things are feeling out of sync.

I know I'm going to have moments like this. Where I'm just plain over it. I want to quit every commitment I've made and stay at home and not feel so stinking rushed all the time.

But, for me, that will only feel good for like a week.

I need to take a minute (a mommy time out, if you will) and sometimes in life I just need a good friend to tell me to SLOW DOWN. But, most of all I need to have some serious heart-to-hearts with Big G.

In the meantime, maybe I should wear a sign: White girl, desperately seeking rythmn.